“Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
– Theodore Roosevelt
Radical Candor
I am a business book junkie. When my business partner and I started out, we had limited knowledge on how to run a hospital. However, we were united in our desire to learn and in our enjoyment of reading. Thus, we traded book titles, good discussions, and in the process, we learned a ton. I continue to love learning by reading especially when I find a book with a new way of looking at a problem. Like many veterinarians, I find communication challenges to be one of the hardest parts of running a business. However, I also believe that communication is one of the most important aspects of quality care.
My favorite recent business book is Radical Candor by Kim Scott. She provides a great framework for communication that is helpful not only in the workplace, but also in our families, and in our communities.
Ms. Scott honed her management skills working at Google and Apple. She also served as an executive coach for many CEOs. She realized during her work that a major roadblock to effective teamwork is our inability to tell the truth directly in a way that people can hear.
Communication can be troubled in many ways. We are often told to be nice and we don’t speak up in fear of hurting someone’s feelings. We sometimes get frustrated but decide to say nothing or utter meaningless platitudes. In contrast, on platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, etc., it can be easy to pontificate forcefully and forget there are real people with feelings on the receiving end. Ms. Scott developed a grid framework to visually demonstrate these communication issues and the ideal, radical candor. Here is the framework:
Ruinous Empathy
Ruinous empathy occurs when we try to be nice but don’t say what we need to. Often in work situations, it leads us to tolerate bad behavior or not provide feedback that might help someone improve. It is when we don’t talk to a veterinary colleague directly about a case where we recognized a diagnostic error. It is when we don’t address and try to teach a technician who consistently makes math errors in drug calculations. At home, it is when we tell out kids that it is OK when we are fuming inside about their actions or words. By being “nice,” we are actually interfering with growth and learning.
A famous story around ruinous empathy was described in a Harvard Business Review article entitled, “The Road to Abilene.”
In this story, a family gathers on a very hot day. They are all quite happy in the shade of the porch but someone says, “Maybe we should go to Abilene for dinner.” No one really wants to go, but no one wants to risk the nice congenial family feeling. Everyone says, “Sure”. They get in the car, without air conditioning, drive 30 miles on a dusty road, have a mediocre dinner, and drive home again. When they get back home to the porch, one person says, “It is so nice here – we should have just eaten here.” The next person says, “What? I thought you were the one who wanted to go – I thought it was a lousy idea but just went along to not make a fuss.”
This parable illustrates why speaking up, even when it is uncomfortable, can save groups from bad decision making. Going along and just being nice can contribute to trips “to Abilene.”
Manipulative Insincerity
Manipulative insincerity is when you don’t care enough to challenge someone. Praise that is not direct, criticism that is too general are both examples of this type of communication. It is also when you see problems at work but tell your supervisor everything is fine. By not engaging, you are not helping to fix the problems that are present. If you are nervous about being a leader and want people to like you, you may falsely praise work that you really don’t think is up to par. In these situations, you are trying to get folks to like you rather than caring about how true input might help them improve in their job.
“Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off.” – Colin Powell
Obnoxious Aggression
Ms Scott would argue that Obnoxious Aggression is actually better than either ruinous empathy or manipulative insincerity. Her reasoning is that the best decisions are made when team mates are willing to challenge each other. When we bring up potential issues early, we have a chance to avoid that “Road to Abilene.” However, when we challenge directly but without showing we care, we are more likely to have people put up walls, become defensive and not hear us.
Conversation can be interpreted as obnoxious aggression when this is not intended. Often the issue is not enough time spent building relationships. General dogma is that bosses and leaders should not have friends at work and should keep their distance to remain unbiased. However, people want to be seen and understood for who they are. Understanding and knowing that your tough former military veterinarian from Brooklyn wants you to say everything quickly and direct but that your brand new 18-year-old assistant needs you to ask how she is doing and how school is going first will allow you to tell them what you need but in a way that shows that you see them as a person.
The other issue, however, is that conversation from men and women can be interpreted differently. As a society, we still label girls “bossy” when they speak in direct language. This can carry into the workplace. This means women need to really make sure they build relationships and communicate the caring “why” of their direct statements.
Radical Candor
This is the quadrant where communication really works. Radical candor is when we have built relationships so that we understand who we are speaking to, our listeners know we speak from the heart, and we directly say what we need.
This is crucial in business and workplaces. If we don’t talk honestly and directly about medical cases with our peers, we won’t improve as a profession. If we don’t talk honestly and directly with clients about their pets, our clients are less likely to hear the news we are trying to deliver. If we don’t directly discuss industry issues, we will continue on a path not of our choosing.
Building a culture of Radical Candor
It is not always easy to get to workplace culture of radical candor. Feedback is hard and not everyone is set up to accept it. One of the best ways to start is by personally asking for and demonstrating how to receive feedback. I often would come to work with new folks in ER and say, “You are my extra set of eyes and ears to keep patients safe. Please tell me if you see anything that concerns you about this patient or if I get off track.” When someone would point out an issue, I would THANK them. Then if you need to point something out, you have demonstrated that you are doing it because everyone needs feedback to do their best.
In addition, working to really get to know people on your team and build those relationships will better allow you to say what you need.
Ideas of the book are nicely summarized in this podcast with Kim Scott.
