The Myth of Work Life Balance

What Veterinary Students Want

Several times a year, I meet with groups of veterinary students to discuss job interviews, understanding compensation, and improving negotiation.  I always start with the question, “what matters to you?”  I ask what they are looking for in their first job.  Very frequently, students tell me they want work life balance.

Work life challenges

The vast majority of veterinary students are in their 20s or early 30s when they finish veterinary school.   Often, they start their first jobs at the same time they are starting their families.  While only 47% of baby boomers were part of two career couples, 78% of millenials have dual careers to balance.  The challenge in making this work is real, especially in a society where family may not live close and child care is expensive. In addition, veterinary medicine can be an intense profession and in some areas can be 24/7.

Perspective from Veterinarians

However, the more I talk to women and men who have both fulfilling careers and happy families, the more I hear that work life balance is a flawed concept.  Instead, people in veterinary medicine and other intense professions aim for work life harmony, work life integration, or work life acceptance.  Stacey Abrams, the founder of the nonprofits, Fair Fight and Fair Count, recently stated, “I believe in work-life Jenga. Work-life balance is a lie, and a regular schedule is a myth.”

Why the concept of work life balance is problematic

Balance can be defined as a condition where different elements are equal. When I think of the concept of balance, I think of an old-fashioned balancing scale or a teeter totter.  Balance is the point where the teeter totter is in a straight line and both people have their toes just touching the ground.  If you think about that analogy, the point where everything stops and the teeter totter is finely balanced is both fleeting and usually the least fun part.

Most kids instead like those moments when they are rising fast through the air, or get to push hard with their feet after hitting the ground.

Having both family and being successful in your job usually means having “good mom days,” and “good vet days,” and accepting that they often won’t be the same days.   There may even be months where your job requires more effort and other months where your kids need you to be more present.  Life is long and this teeter tottering back and forth is part of the journey.

Work Life Integration

The people who find the most happiness and success are likely those who realize that work is an integral part of life and not an either/or scenario.   As Stewart Friedman, a professor at the Wharton School of business, stated in a Harvard Business Review article:

“The idea that “work” competes with “life” ignores that “life” is actually the intersection and interaction of four major domains: work, home, community, and the private self.”

Work life balance leads us to try to keep two separate “buckets” while work life integration is more fluid.  The concept of work life integration allows us to learn, grow, and contribute in multiple areas of our lives in overlapping ways.  What we learn as parents helps us be better managers. Communication skills learned on the job may help in talking to our teenagers.  Viewing our workplaces as integral supports for the community allows us to contribute to other things we value.

Examples of Work Life Integration

In times past, parents often worked with their kids.  I’ve spoken to several veterinarians who were able to work overnight shifts with their kids sleeping in an office. I’ve spoken to others  who came in to do surgery on a weekend and brought their child so they could watch.  In one case, that child is now a successful veterinarian!  When the hospital I helped co-found first opened, I spent many days off doing Costco runs with my then 10 month old daughter.  When we delivered supplies, she enjoyed coming into ICU with me to see what was going on with the pets we were treating.

One veterinarian I know has a hearing impaired significant other and thus is fluent in sign language . He also has a clear understanding of some of the challenges in receiving services if you are hearing impaired.  Because of these personal skills and deep knowledge, he has built a clientele of pet owners from this community.

Another veterinarian was very involved in the martial arts community.  She used her skills to teach a self defense class for women who worked at her veterinary hospital.

When Integration doesn’t work

All that being said, a teeter totter can be wrongly weighted and out of whack or one “circle” can be so dominant that it overshadows everything else.   When that happens, nothing works right.  You can’t truly enjoy a see saw if one side weighs so much more than the other.

When I talk to veterinarians in this situation, often there is one of three issues:

The workplace has been set up in an unfair way or has no flexibility

This may be on call that is not split evenly between all the veterinarians in the practice, an initial work schedule that is not doable, or a management structure that is not willing to work with you when you have a true family emergency or illness.  I do worry that more national ownership and rigid rules may make the overlap of family and work more difficult.   However, in the current economic climate,there are lots of jobs to chose from. It is possible to find practices that are fairly managed and help to integrate work, health, family, and community

The veterinarian has not learned to set limits and has self-imposed high workloads.

The first question to ask is are you happy with your workload?  Some people love what they do and enjoy working a large number of hours but are judged not balanced by others.  High work hours in and of themselves are not problematic if they are done out of passion and not due to unfairness.  However, if they interfere with other things you desire than figuring out how to set limits is important.  The concept of “chunking” time, discussed in the last blog, can be really helpful.

Is this your long term reality or a short term issue?

Residencies, work deadlines, and seasonal variations in case load are part of the journey and work life acceptance helps.  In veterinary practices that are seasonal (large animal practices during calving, emergency rooms over Labor Day), understanding the rhythm so you can plan a break, will make integration easier.  For example, the accountant I work with always closes his office and takes a vacation right at the end of tax season.

Closing Thoughts

I believe that thinking of work, family, community and health as separate boxes can lead to frustration.  We need to look for ways to support communities we care about through work.  In addition, we need to work for flexibility in how to integrate parenthood and successful veterinary careers. We also need to realize that for many of us, being veterinarians is an important part of who we are.  If we accept that working hard feeds our souls, we can share that passion with our kids and our communities.